I recently shared this post on my facebook page and feel like it’s a good first blog post for explaining my “why.”
Late last year I publicly started sharing a bit of my family’s life….our use of utilizing essential oils on a daily basis, along with switching our home over to a non-toxic, chemical free environment. However, many didn’t know that oils have been a part of most of my life.
Young Living Essentials Oils were not completely new to me, as I worked as an esthetician in a spa for a couple of years out of high school, and my mom used the oils in her home. I lived a far more “in tune” lifestyle when I was younger…many would have described me as a crunchy hippy back in the day, however, life took over, I lost that part of who I am in my soul, turning away from intuition while allowing society to dictate standards and norms.
During those times in my early twenties, I had a baby boy….my entire universe at the time. I adored being his mama. I found myself a single mom putting myself through college as a full time student. Dean’s list, honors societies and my drive to be a perfect daughter, mom, and friend pushed me over the edge. I ended up with full blown panic attacks which brought my weight down to just under 100 lbs, I avoided all social situations, I went to therapy, and I seriously thought I was going crazy. In the late 90’s the understanding of anxiety was just beginning to be brought to the forefront, and no one talked openly about it. I turned towards the conventions of the general population…I lost myself.
Also during that time, I witnessed my mom’s struggles with prescription drugs, helped her heal through rehab and supported the rest of her living years celebrating her sobriety with her. It was quite the eye opening experience in regards to addiction, which made start to remember all the things things I knew previous…oils, herbs, energy work…natural healing.
A marriage and two babies later…I was busy living, volunteering at school, and raising three kiddos…my last baby, not even two years old, when cancer introduced itself to me. It was caught early and I healed fairly quickly from the surgery that saved my life. I took the necessary steps to tackle the incomprehensible grief that came along with that crappy word, and for what it took from me…the ability to ever carry a baby inside me again…energy work and massage was implemented weekly. My massage therapist, and dear friend, using Young Living’s Christmas Spirit on me to support me along in my process. Beautifully healing in every way…oils once again.
Life continued forward as it does, my children growing like weeds, successes and failures, laughter and memories created. All was beautiful all was perfect, except I was still not fully being true to who I was deep down.
Then…kidney disease took over my family…dialysis for my mom, hospital stays, and lots of tears. Then…complete loss. My world shattered. My best friend, my sweet mama…gone in a series of labored, last breaths. Life forever changed.
I turned to her oil collection heavily at that point, which she passed along to me before she died. The emotional support that these beautiful vials of oil provided for me, one of the only true things I knew at that point in my life. A month after, my grandma passed after a few days of going through the process. Life changing in more ways that I can explain, as I anointed her fragile body with oils and with prayers of letting go.
The realization that I was now the matriarch of our family a heavy responsibility to take in within such a short period of time. Losing two of the closest people to me in my life also put much in perspective for me. Made me fully contemplate my future and forced me in finding complete peace for my heart and soul.
Looking back now, I know that I have been through so much. Many people ask how I did it all…single parenting, addiction, illness, death, divorce. I can honestly say that love got me through. Love for myself most importantly…taking the time to heal, finding the key to what supported me best, and trusting in Spirit to lead me to where I needed to be in my life. I listened to my heart. Also, understanding that with the dark comes light, and through all the sadness and loss, it is what helps us embrace and cherish all the wonderfully good and amazing times in our lives.
Life is so interesting that way…the more we let go of control and trust, you end up where you are supposed to be. The more you listen to that voice inside, the happier you end up truly being.
I have learned throughout the past 20 years that you have to listen to the callings of your heart. I am finding my way back to who I am in my core bit by bit. Still hitting the anxiety, that will always be part of who I am, with the ways i have always known…oils, meditation, massage, energy work…and most importantly gratitude and self love.
That’s my story, and I honestly can say I don’t know what I’d do with out essential oils. They have supported me on and off throughout my life, helping to heal my heart, providing an alternative to conventional treatments, and giving me control over my family’s health. All of this is my why…my oily story, my way of life….one healing breath at a time. xo. Thanks for letting me have a space to share my truth and my heart. Blessings.